As a parent, I don’t know if the feeling of worry ever goes away. The fear of letting your kid go off to school is kind of crippling. Colton is my first baby, the only baby around here for 2 1/2 years. My life revolved around him and everything he needed for his first couple years and they flew by quicker than I ever imagined. Everyone always says “blink and they’ll be grown.” I finally understand what they mean. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday. I remember how the doctor mistakenly told me he was a girl at 14 weeks and well…he wasn’t. Colton came at the perfect time. I had a giant void and immense sadness from my dad passing when I was pregnant with him. He was the perfect blessing at the exact right time.
I wish I could keep Colton home with me forever. I wish I didn’t have to blink, so he just wouldn’t grow. But here we are, heading to kindergarten, and I honestly thought this day would never come. The sleepless newborn nights and the frustrating toddler days made this milestone seem ages away. Now that it’s here, I wish I could go back to those long nights of no sleep. My heart is going to be outside of my body, walking around those big elementary school halls for a few hours a day, but I can’t wait to hear all about his new adventure. In attempt to help deal with this stressful time, I’m writing an open letter to Colton with the hope it will help me find peace as he races towards adolescence and beyond.
You’re a kindergartner! I can’t believe you’re old enough for this! I know you’re going to have the best year with your teachers and I can’t wait to hear about all you learn. I am so very proud of you. You are smart, kind and just the greatest boy ever. You have the best heart and you give the biggest hugs. I love how you want to say prayers every night, how you always make Dada tell you a joke before bed, and how you still want me to buckle you in the car. I love how you love chocolate just as much as your mama, how you love baseball and are so great at it, how you love to build your legos and how you build the most creative things. I love how you stick your tongue out when you’re writing and concentrating super hard, and how you tell me that you’ll always be my baby. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God made you just perfect.
I’m so lucky I get to be your mommy and I’m so thankful God chose me for that. I love you so very much and I can’t wait to go on this new school adventure by your side!
I love you so very much,